Set Fire to the Rain
by MustBeAWriter
Summary: All your life you were trained for this...for this battle between good and evil that you would inevitably join. But the one thing they never prepared you for was falling in love with your arch-nemesis.
1. Prologue

_*Okay, so I'm really excited about this story, and I really hope you guys all like it. I've never written anything this AU before, but I'm going to try to keep everyone as in-character as possible._

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the ideas in my head._

* * *

_September 2008_

(Castle)

He was numb. It was a strange feeling for a man that usually felt so much. Under normal circumstances, he was fun and outgoing, able to charm anyone that crossed his path.

These were not normal circumstances.

Castle looked down at his watch, only mildly surprised to find it floating in midair. Under normal circumstances, he was in complete control of his powers. He hadn't accidentally disappeared since he was a teenager.

Again, these were not normal circumstances.

A shriek pulled him out of his stupor. He looked up to see his father's personal assistant standing in the doorway, her eyes wide and one hand covering her gaping mouth.

He willed himself to reappear, smiling apologetically when he knew she could see him. "Sorry, Nancy," he said. "I usually have better control than that."

"No apology necessary, Mr. Castle," Nancy replied. "You just startled me, that's all. Your father's ready for you now."

He followed Nancy down a long corridor and into his father's office. He waited until the door had shut behind the girl before addressing the large, black chair that looked out over the New York skyline.

"Your message said you had information about the fire," he said without preamble.

The chair turned slowly, revealing the solemn figure of Anderson Cross. He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands as he studied his son. "How are you holding up, son?"

Castle stiffened, his expression hardening. "That's none of your business," he snapped. "Now, you said you had information about the person responsible for the fire. If this was just a ploy to get me here…"

"I do have information," Cross said, standing up. He beckoned Castle towards a monitor set up in the corner. He pressed a button and the screen flickered to life. A series of images popped up, all of the same figure standing outside of a brick building that was consumed by flames.

Castle stepped closer, examining the figure in the pictures. "Is that who I think it is?" he asked, already knowing the answer. If the red and gold leather bodysuit wasn't enough of a clue, all ten of her fingers were tipped with flames, flickering like lit matches.

"Phoenix," Cross announced. "The city's greatest hero. My sources tell me she was involved in a battle near the school and one of her fireballs went rogue and hit the gym."

He continued to stare at the photos, uncomprehending. "But why wouldn't she help?" he finally asked. "She had to know there were people inside. Why didn't she do anything? She's a hero, isn't she? And that's what heroes do, isn't it? They help people, it's their job. So why didn't she help?" When his rant ended, he was breathing hard, tears streaking down his cheeks, flickering in and out of visibility.

"That I can't tell you, son," Cross said. "But there's no doubt that Phoenix started that fire, no matter how the city may try to cover it up. She's the reason your daughter is dead."

The rage that bubbled up from the pit of his stomach was overwhelming. "How do I find her?"

"Pardon?"

"I know you know how to find her," Castle growled. "Tell me how, so I can make her pay."

Cross glanced at him, his expression unreadable. "You're serious about this, Richard? You're sure you want to kill this woman?"

"I want her to suffer like I have. Like all of the parents who lost children in that fire are suffering. Are you going to help me or not?"

Cross nodded. "I'll help you, don't you worry about that," he assured him. "But you're not ready yet. If you go after her now, she'll destroy you. Even more than she already has."

"I don't think that's possible," Castle murmured, his throat clogging with tears. "What would you suggest?"

"Instead of going to her," Cross started, a gleam in his eyes, "get her to come to you."

Castle frowned. "I don't understand."

The gleam intensified, leaving Castle spellbound. "Every hero needs a nemesis."

_*So yeah, there it is. Let me know what you think. The next chapter will jump ahead a few years, with an established relationship between Castle and Beckett's super-selves._


	2. Chapter 1

_*Um, so yeah, I'm finally getting this story rolling. I seriously apologize for it taking me so long to continue. So, without further ado…_

_September 2011_

(Kate)

Sometimes, Kate's life really sucked.

She was bleeding from a series of gashes on her shoulder, the scars on her chest and side burned like hell from the night's acrobatics, she was soaking wet due to an oversensitive sprinkler system, and, to top it all off, the Raven had made off with the Fist of Glory.

So, yeah, not the best night of her life.

She pressed her palm to the sensor that would activate her secret entrance to the city morgue, and slipped inside before the night watchman could spot her. (It wasn't that he'd give her a hard time, but the kid was new and a bit of a fan-boy, and the novelty of fame had worn off years ago).

Lanie was already waiting for Kate in her private recovery room. She didn't say a word about her friend's injuries, just shook her head and helped Kate out of her bodysuit and onto the exam table.

"Stitches again," Lanie muttered, applying antiseptic to the gashes. "I swear to God, Kate, Bird Boy had better hope he never meets me in a dark alley."

Kate snorted and tried to ignore the needle going in and out of her arm. The only bad thing about having a superhuman metabolism and a resting internal temperature of 200o F was that normal painkillers had absolutely no effect on her. All she could do was breathe through the pain and wait for her dose of the serum that would ease her pain and super-speed the healing process.

The serum was a new invention, only a few years old. The scientists that had perfected the formula were off living on a private island in the Caribbean somewhere, thanks to the multi-million dollar deal they'd made with the city. It was a powerful medicine, unfortunately too dangerous for regular humans, but some additive made it non-addictive. It had cut her recovery time in half after getting shot, and the longest Kate had ever been incapacitated since the serum became available was twelve days, and then she'd been near death.

The effects of the serum were immediate for minor injuries, and it was only minutes after administering the injection that Lanie was helping Kate into her street clothes. Kate could see that there was something on her friend's mind, but she waited until Kate was zipping up her boots to speak.

"Girl, you need a vacation."

She snorted again, but Lanie pressed on. "I'm serious, Kate. When's the last time you took time off from either of your jobs that wasn't forced medical leave?"

Kate sighed. In a way, Lanie was right. It had been over two years since she'd last been on a date, even longer since her last real vacation. There was just one little problem. "You know why I can't take time off, Lanie. Besides, I'd probably be so worried about leaving the city unprotected that I wouldn't be able to relax anyway."

Lanie nodded and pulled her into a hug. "Just think about it, okay?" she said. "You can't protect the city if you're dead."

She knew that Lanie was right, but she also knew that she couldn't leave her city at the mercy of the Raven and the Brotherhood. "Once I've clipped the Raven's wings, we can go anywhere you want," she promised. "But until he's in custody, I can't leave New York."

(Castle)

He was still on Cloud 9 two mornings after his acquisition of the Fist of Glory. It had really almost been too easy. Naturally, Phoenix had tried to intervene, but she'd been off her game for the past few months, and it was getting easier and easier for him to gain the upper hand (or, in this case, fist).

He examined the burn that spiraled up his forearm from wrist to elbow, noting with chagrin that it was only just starting to heal. As deeply as he loathed Phoenix, he had to give her weapons guy credit where it was due. The fire whips were a nice touch. She could inflict serious damage, while avoiding close combat, which seemed to be her favored style as of late. The only design flaw that he could see was that they were pretty handy at setting off sprinkler systems and allowing her quarry to escape.

One of Castle's phones started to buzz incessantly, and he groaned when he realized it was the one he'd been given when he became the Raven (his "bird call" as some jokingly called it). Cross was summoning the Brotherhood to a mandatory meeting.

Not for the first time, he wondered if it was all worth it. Three years in, and he was still nothing more than his father's pickpocket, and no closer to avenging his daughter's death. Deep down, he would still rather be writing than stealing from the rich to make Anderson Cross richer. But there was only one way out of the Brotherhood, and he doubted that Cross would make an exception, even for his own flesh and blood.

Castle sighed. He'd have to reschedule his meetings with Black Pawn, but if he hurried, he could still make a stop at his favorite coffee shop. There was something he'd been wanting to do for a few weeks, and he was feeling especially lucky today.

As he walked to the coffee shop, he stopped at a newspaper stand to check the tabloids. Their covers were all still splashed with headlines about the stolen Fist of Glory. He almost laughed out loud at one claiming that Phoenix was secretly a member of the Brotherhood. As if.

His day got even better when he entered the coffee shop and saw that Kate wasn't there yet. He missed her. God, did he miss her. And he was willing to put aside his anger at being shut out for three months just to see her again.

When he reached the counter to place his order, he flashed the barista a charming smile. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

(Kate)

Kate prided herself on her ability to predict the moves of others. As a crime-fighter by day and night, it was essential that she be able to anticipate any surprises that might come her way.

This was something she'd never seen coming.

"What do you mean, it's already taken care of?" she asked.

The girl behind the counter at the coffee shop shrugged. "That guy over there said he wanted to pay for your coffee today," she said, gesturing towards the back corner of the shop. "So, it's taken care of. If it were me," she continued, leaning in closer, "I wouldn't question it."

While Kate waited for her coffee, she scanned the back of the shop. Her jaw dropped a little when she realized there was only guy sitting in the back corner. A guy that she definitely recognized.

When the barista called her order, Kate stopped her. "_That's _the guy that bought my coffee?" she asked, nodding at him.

The girl grinned. "Like I said, I wouldn't question it."

She made her way to the back table where Castle was sitting, a shy smile on her face. "You didn't have to do this, you know," she told him.

"I know," he said, smiling reassuringly. "But I miss you, Kate, and I figured this would be the best place to find you." He shrugged. "And what better way to say I'm sorry than with a latte?"

She had to stop herself from saying _you could have just called me_. "I'm the one that should be apologizing, Castle, not you."

He shrugged again. "I wasn't very understanding when you came to me last month. I regret a lot of what I said that day," he admitted. "And, like I said, I've missed you."

She took a breath, decided to ask the question that had been going through her mind since she'd seen him. "Does this mean you're coming back to the precinct?"

Castle grinned, and it was amazing how something so small could lift her spirits. "I can't today," he said. "But if you'll have me, I'll be there tomorrow, coffee in hand."

Kate grinned back at him. "Sounds perfect," she said. "I'd still like to make things up to you, though."

"What do you have in mind?" he asked, excitement sparkling in his eyes.

She took the plunge before she could talk herself out of it. "How about dinner at my place on Saturday?" she offered. "I'll cook."

If he'd been excited before, he was ecstatic now. "How could I possibly pass that up?"

Dr. Burke would be proud of her, she thought. Hell, _she _was proud of herself. "Until tomorrow, then?"

"Until tomorrow."

_*So, you'll notice that I decided to change things up from what I'd originally written. To me, this just seemed to fit better than what I had originally planned, and I definitely think it raises the stakes that much higher. I also kind of love the dichotomy of Castle fighting crime with Beckett during the day, and then being her arch-nemesis during the night. _


	3. Chapter 2

_*Very important chapter, here, guys. Basically this is going to set the stage for the entire rest of the story. So, yeah, let's get to it, shall we?_

(Castle)

It never ceased to amaze him just how quickly a good day could get turned completely on its head.

Case in point: not even the prospect of a date with Kate Beckett could brighten his day after what his father had just told him.

"You can't be serious," he growled. After everything they'd done, after everything he'd trained for, Cross was pulling this stunt _now_?

"I'm completely serious, Richard," Cross said calmly. The cool smile on his face was only serving to piss Castle off even more. "Phoenix has been a thorn in my side for far too long. I have big plans that I'm about to put into motion, and I can't risk her interfering."

"So let _me_ take care of her like we intended from the beginning," Castle protested. "Don't put a price on her head. Every villain in this city would go insane, it'd be chaos. She wouldn't last a week."

Cross considered him for a moment, eyebrows raised. "Such concern for her well-being," he said with a chuckle. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were starting to care for this woman."

Castle scowled. "That's not how I meant it. If you send every member of the Brotherhood after her all at once, innocent people are going to get hurt."

Cross shrugged. "Every war has its casualties," he said indifferently. He smiled again. "But I suppose you have a different plan?"

"Give me a little leeway," he pleaded. "Enough time for me to end this my way. Phoenix hasn't been on top of her game lately, something's off. I can wear her down, and I _can _kill her."

Cross turned away from Castle, stared out of his office window, contemplating the offer. "You have six months," he said eventually. "That should be more than enough time for you to finish the job. If she isn't dead by, say, March 15th, I will put a bounty on her so large that she'll be dead within days."

"Thank you," he said. "I suppose there's no need for this meeting now?"

He could see Cross' smile in his reflection in the window. "I suppose you're right. Do tell the others, won't you? I have other matters to attend to."

He sent out a mass text to the Brotherhood as he left his father's office, then pulled out his civilian phone to send another.

_**Change of plans Beckett…I'll be at the precinct in 30**_

(Kate)

She was just hanging up the phone when Castle stepped off the elevator and headed for the bullpen. She met him halfway, keys in hand. "Perfect timing, Castle."

His eyes lit up. "We've got a body?"

Not for the first time, she wondered if his excitement at the idea of another murder should concern her. She shrugged it off, as she had every time before, and nodded. "Apparently it's…pretty weird." _Weird _wasn't the exact wording Lanie had used, but it was the only appropriate description she could think of.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Castle asked, immediately heading for the elevator he'd just vacated. "Let's go find out what the NYPD constitutes as _weird_."

* * *

_Weird, _in this case, apparently meant "cut in half with a sword by a faux vigilante superhero."

Kate was perched on the roof of an abandoned building on Theater and Bleakman, waiting for Lone Vengeance. It was close to 2 am before she felt a presence on the roof behind her.

"You're in a lot of trouble, Ann," she said off-handedly.

Lone Vengeance, Officer Ann Hastings to her colleagues, sat on the ledge beside Kate. "I didn't kill Tyler Ferris," she said.

"I know." Kate glanced at the young cop. "But someone wants everyone to think that you did. Any ideas who that might be?"

Hastings shrugged. "Tommy V?" She shook her head. "Maybe. I don't know. I've made a lot of enemies, okay."

Kate nodded. "I know the feeling." She sighed. She'd have to keep an eye on Tommy V, look deeper into his alibi, but quietly enough to not bias the investigation. She stood to leave. "If you think of anything else, Beckett's the lead detective on the case."

Kate was almost to the side of the building where she'd parked her bike when she heard Hastings call out to her. "Wait! How did you know my name?"

She didn't answer, simply turned and waved before jumping to the street below.

(Castle)

The thing he had to remember about setting traps was that sometimes you got caught in your own. It didn't happen as often as _Scooby-Doo _would lead you to believe, but it had happened to him a few times, and this was starting to look like another one to add to the list.

He was cornered in an alley behind the jewelry store that he'd been "robbing". He'd deliberately set off the alarm to lure Phoenix there, but what he hadn't anticipated was the army of cops that had joined the party.

His only way out was up, but even that wasn't a guaranteed escape. There were too many officers with guns in the alley. Even if he went invisible, one of them could still get a lucky shot off, and then he'd be toast.

He was starting to feel the heat (literally; one of Phoenix's whips snapped dangerously close to his face) when his luck changed in an instant. The officers' radios crackled, requesting immediate assistance at a nearby park. A few of the officers left the alley, but most stayed, looking to Phoenix for guidance.

"Go," she ordered. "I can handle things here."

And, just like that, they were alone.

Her whips snapped out in tandem, and he dropped to the ground, disappearing as he rolled to one side of the alley. He lay still for a moment, and she froze as well, the alley falling silent as he tried to not give his position away.

Phoenix crept forward cautiously, and he grinned when she turned away from him. He got to his feet silently and snuck towards her, his fingers flexing in anticipation.

He froze in place when the flexing caused his talons to squeak, cursing to himself as Phoenix spun around. The metal gloves with razor sharp claws that extended three inches past his fingertips were a new toy, something Cross had given him to aid in his assassination of Phoenix. He made a mental note to oil them before each outing as her whips lashed out at him for the third time.

He held his left arm up to catch the blow, winced as the flaming cord wrapped around his forearm, and used his strength and her momentum to pull her towards him. He'd caught her off guard, leaving her no time to fight back before the talons of his right hand were plunged into her chest. The force of the blow sent his fingers through her ribcage and straight into her heart.

They sank to the ground together, him hovering over her as her blood gushed warm and wet over his fingers. Her eyes stayed locked on his as she whispered one word. _"Castle."_

The cold, dark alley disappeared, replaced by the warmth of a sunny cemetery. When he looked down, it was no longer Phoenix bleeding out underneath him, but Kate, her face white and her eyes growing dim as she fought to keep them open.

"Stay with me, Kate," he begged, choking back a sob as he brushed his fingers over her cheek. "Kate, stay with me."

He could hear voices clamoring in the background, but he had to stay focused on Kate, on keeping his hand pressed to the bullet hole in her chest. "I love you," he gasped, needing her to hear the words at least once before she died. "Kate, I love you."

* * *

Castle stood in front of Kate's apartment door and took a few deep breaths, trying to shake off the nightmare that had been plaguing him all week. Kate was alive, he reminded himself for the millionth time. He'd seen her just hours before, when they'd closed the Lone Vengeance case. She was alive, and they were going to have dinner together, just as soon as he knocked on her door.

He finally got his breathing under control and knocked, only to have all the air whoosh out of him the instant Kate opened the door.

She'd changed out of her work clothes into a deep purple sweater dress, her long hair falling around her shoulders in soft waves. She was barefoot, too, and it made her look so tiny, soft and huggable. She ducked her head shyly, a blush staining her cheeks at his obvious gaping.

Kate looked back up at him, a soft smile on her face. "Hi."

"Hi," he said, his voice high-pitched and squeaky. He cleared his throat, held out the flowers that he'd forgotten about, and tried again. "Hi."

(Kate)

Something was off with Castle. He was trying to act like everything was normal, but there was an underlying tension that he couldn't hide behind his wit and charm. She wondered if she should just let it go, but then thought back to a recent conversation with Dr. Burke; about how a lack of communication seemed to be the major hurdle in their relationship. Partnership. Whatever. They weren't technically _in _a relationship. Yet.

"Is everything okay, Castle?" she asked, her question coming out softer and less certain than she'd intended.

He grinned at her from across the table. "Amazing," he said, taking a bite of lasagna. "I didn't know you could cook."

Kate sighed, shook her head. "That's not what I meant," she said. "You're distracted," she continued. "You've barely taken your eyes off of me since you got here."

His smile faltered for a moment, but was then replaced by a smirk. "Did you consider the possibility that I just really like looking at you?" he countered. His smirk softened to a tender smile. "Have I told you how gorgeous you are tonight?"

She cursed the involuntary blush that she could feel spreading over her cheeks. She shook her head again, determined to see this through. "I'm flattered, Castle, but we both know that there's something else going on here." She reached for his hand, ran her thumb across his knuckles. "Rick, what's wrong?"

He looked down, gave his answer more to his plate than to her. "I had a nightmare," he said, looking up at her. She nodded encouragingly. "About the cemetery," he admitted, switching their hands so that his was covering hers. "I haven't…they went away for a while. I just wasn't expecting it."

"Trust me, I know how that feels," Kate said, giving him a small smile. "Mine aren't constant anymore, but…"

He squeezed her hand. "I shouldn't have brought it up," he said, regret tingeing his voice. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said. "I was the one that asked."

"It's silly, I know," he said, shaking his head, "We're having dinner together, you're _obviously _here."

She nodded, tears stinging her eyes. How could she _ever _make up for hurting him so badly? "You just needed the reassurance."

She pulled her hand out from under his, swiped at a rogue tear as she moved to stand directly in front of him. She ran a trembling hand through his hair, and, when he tilted his head up to look at her, leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I'm alive," she whispered shakily. "I'm here, Rick. And I'm not going anywhere."

_*If anyone's interested, I posted a variation of Castle's nightmare on tumblr (imnotacoptodayhoney). It's tagged with the rest of my prompt fics, but I didn't post it in _There's Always A Story _bc of spoilers. Hope you enjoyed!_


	4. Chapter 3

_*Okay, so, here we are again…almost a full year later…yeah. I'm really going to try to update more regularly, I promise. I'm thinking once a week, but we'll see how that goes. Anyway, enough chit-chat, here we go!_

(Kate)

She let Castle pull her into his lap, their food long forgotten. She folded into him, buried her face into his neck and breathed him in. Something wet dripped into her hair, and she realized that Castle was crying.

Kate hated that she'd made him cry, hated being the cause of his pain, however indirectly. She wanted to beg him to stop, but doing so felt selfish, especially given that he'd always offered her a shoulder to cry on in the past. If she wanted to have any kind of relationship with him (and she _did _want a relationship with him. So badly.), there needed to be a mutual give and take of support and comfort among other things.

"Other things", she realized, included trust and honesty. And there was something that she'd been holding back from Castle for far too long.

"Castle," she whispered, "there's something I need to tell you." Kate shifted in his lap so that she could look him in the eyes. "About…about the day I got shot."

His eyes widened, obviously more than a little shocked. "Okay…"

She looked down, and then back up, licking her lips nervously before starting. "When you asked if I remembered anything from my shooting, and I told you that I didn't, I lied." She tilted her head back for a moment, blinked back tears. "I remember everything from that day, Castle," she admitted. "Everything. I remember you telling me that you love me. It's been in my head for months. But I was so broken, I still am, and I was so scared that I would ruin everything that I actually almost did."

"Kate, no." His hand on her cheek interrupted her monologue. "You are _not _broken."

She sniffled. "You told me the one thing I'd been wanting to hear for over a year, and my response was to shut you out and run away for three months. That's not exactly what I'd call healthy behavior."

"Maybe not," he agreed. "And while I didn't like being shut out, I don't blame you for running. Who's to say I wouldn't have done the same in that situation?"

She smiled sadly, brushed her fingers through his hair. "You wouldn't have run," she said. "It's one of the things that I…" She stopped, suddenly terrified of what she was about to reveal.

"What, Kate?" Castle asked, though his soft smile indicated he knew what she was about to say. "One of the things that you…what?"

"It's one of the things that I love about you." She kissed him gently. "Because I _do _love you, Rick. More than I think I can ever say."

He kissed her deeply, tangling one hand in her hair and pulling her flush against him with the other. She moaned, flashing back to their "first kiss" in a dark alley. She melted into him, needing to be as close to him as humanly possible. God, _why _had she waited this long to kiss him again?

When they eventually broke apart, she sagged against him panting heavily. "Wow," she managed, laughing softly. "Just…wow."

"In case you were wondering, I love you too, Kate." Castle's grin was a wide, besotted, beautiful thing, and she couldn't help brushing her lips against it a few times more.

She settled against him and gave a contented hum. "Stay with me tonight." Castle waggled his eyebrows, and she laughed. "Not like that." She ducked her head, embarrassed. "I just don't know if I'll believe that any of this happened if you're not here in the morning."

His goofy leer turned into a fond smile. "There's no place I'd rather be."

(Castle)

He woke in the middle of the night, disoriented and very much alone. Kate's scent washed over him, and he grinned, remembering everything from their date. She loved him. Kate Beckett loved him.

And was apparently an insomniac, he mused, noting that the sheets on her side of the bed were cold. The only thing that kept him from panicking was that they were in _her _bed. And she had been the one to ask him to stay. She wasn't running anymore.

It didn't take him long to find Kate, the only light in the apartment beckoning to him from her study. Her laptop was on, playing footage from a DOT camera, but she wasn't watching. She was studying her makeshift murder board, and he couldn't help but wonder how many sleepless nights she'd spent in that very spot.

"Hey," he murmured, slipping in behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Couldn't sleep?"

She shook her head. "I had a nightmare," she said softly. "I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to look over some surveillance footage that Ryan sent me, and then this was just calling to me, even though I haven't found anything new in months, and…"

"Kate, stop," he said. "It's okay. I get it. Some nights I'll wake up from a nightmare, and the next thing I know, it's dawn and I'm still sitting on Alexis' bed staring at a picture of her."

She turned in his embrace, got her arms around him too. "Sometimes I forget how much you've actually been through. And so much worse, too. I lost my mom, but you. You lost your baby. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like."

"I hope you never have to know," he told her. "It never goes away, does it?"

She shook her head again. "No, but it gets easier…eventually. And I've got you now." She smiled. "You help. Have since before we met."

He returned her smile, tucking that admission away for later. "You help, too."

Kate pulled out of his embrace, took his hands in hers, and started leading him out of the room. "C'mon, Castle, let's go back to bed."

"Lead the way, Kate. Lead the way."

* * *

_*quick note, obviously Kate knows that Alexis is dead, _but _she doesn't know the circumstances surrounding her death_


	5. Chapter 4

_*sorry for the update delay guys! Life got in the way in the form of attempting to have a social life and some particularly nasty allergies. But enough about me, let's get to what you really care about…the story_

(Castle)

He was stewing. He could admit to that quite easily. He was stewing and wallowing in his guilt over Jerry Tyson and how he had inadvertently contributed to Jane Herzfeld's death. Deep down, he _knew _that it wasn't true, that it was Philip Lee's fault and not his. But he also couldn't help thinking that he should have known.

He should have known what Tyson was the moment he met him. After all, they were both villains, weren't they? Both terrible people who had done terrible things. True, he wasn't a killer like Tyson, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. If he had only been paying closer attention, maybe he would have seen it sooner, and then maybe Tyson wouldn't have escaped.

Castle was broken out of his thoughts by a soft knock on his door. It was late, nearly 2 am, and there were only two people that could possibly be at his door; his father or Kate. If he didn't answer the door, his father would eventually get bored and leave, and find a way to punish him later. But Cross rarely dropped in without calling first, and both phones had been silent all evening.

It was far more likely then that it was Kate, and his girlfriend (and it _thrilled _him that he got to call her that now) was infinitely more stubborn. He knew that if he ignored her, she would either stand outside his door until he let her in or just pick the lock.

It was with great reluctance that he went to let her in. His self loathing was never pretty, and his control over his powers was seriously inhibited by the glasses of scotch he'd already consumed. He couldn't keep his secret identity from her forever, not if their relationship was going to be built on trust and communication, but he was still trying to work out a way to tell her that _wouldn't _have her running as far and fast as she could in the opposite direction, or, more likely, arresting him on the spot.

Kate's arms were around him the moment he opened the door, and he returned her embrace willingly. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. The familiar aroma of cherries, vanilla, and something he could never quite put a name to soothed his frayed nerves, and _why _had he ever thought that pushing her away tonight was a good idea?

He pulled back just enough to kiss her, resting his forehead against hers even after they separated. "Hey."

"Hi." Her greeting was just as soft as his. "I know you said you needed a day or two, but I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone tonight." She tilted her face up to meet his eyes, hers timid and unsure. "I hope that's okay."

He kissed her again, seeking to reassure her with the press of his lips and the swipe of his tongue. "Of course it's okay," he said. "I push people away when I'm upset. More than I should."

Kate smiled. "I can't exactly fault you for that," she said. "I'm pretty much the poster child for bottling things up until you explode. And I know exactly how it feels to not want to burden everyone with your problems."

He nodded, then tugged on her hands and led her through the loft and into his bedroom. She toed off her shoes while he helped her out of her jacket, grinning when he finally noticed the plaid pajama pants she was sporting.

They were cuddled together in bed when she finally spoke, her voice a gentle thing in the darkness. "What happened to Jane wasn't your fault," she whispered. "I know how it feels, losing yourself in the guilt and the _what-ifs_, and I can tell you that it never helps. It only makes it worse."

"But, if I had been strong enough to stop him, smart enough to see what he was sooner…"

"Stop," she told him, turning in his arms and pressing her fingers to his lips. "Tyson had us all fooled. You can't blame yourself for what that monster did, Rick. You're a good man."

_If you only knew, Kate, _he thought. He wasn't a good man, not even close, but he wanted to be. He wanted to be better for her; wanted to deserve her unwavering faith, her love. He resolved to be better for her, to put aside his vendetta against Phoenix. He would stop being his father's pawn. This life wasn't what his baby girl would have wanted for him, and he refused to pull Kate down into the darkness with him.

"I love you," he murmured. His mind raced, keeping him awake long after she'd drifted off to sleep. He would probably never deserve her, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

* * *

_*quick note: I've got an outline set, and this baby's gonna be about 20 chapters, give or take (including the prologue and epilogue)_


	6. Chapter 5

_*So, it's like 3am, and I should probably be in bed because I have church in the morning, but I need to get this written, so yeah. Enjoy!_

* * *

(Castle)

"I want out."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Castle knew he was in for a fight. His father's face was a calm mask, but he had seen the momentary flash of anger, and he knew that this wasn't going to end the way he'd planned.

"You want out?" Cross asked, feigning confusion. "Out of what, Richard?"

He licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. His eyes darted around the room before he finally settled on a spot just over Cross' shoulder, too nervous to look his father in the eye.

"I want out of the Brotherhood," he explained. "I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of fighting crime during the day, and then committing crimes at night. And all for nothing! This isn't the life that I want to live anymore," he said. "I won't give up the Brotherhood, and I'll keep your secrets, but I am through with taking orders from you."

Cross was silent for a moment following Rick's monologue, and then he began to laugh. It was more than a minute before he was able to speak again, wiping tears of mirth from his cheeks. "Oh, that's a good one, son," he said, still chuckling. "Been a long time since I heard a joke that good."

Castle growled, his patience wearing thin. "I'm serious," he insisted. "I'm leaving, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Don't be silly, Richard," Cross said, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're not going anywhere. Not when I could ruin your reputation _and _your relationship with a certain detective with one phone call."

His growl was more audible this time. "You leave Kate out of this, Cross. This has nothing to do with her."

"Doesn't it though?" Cross asked. "It's only since you started seeing her that you've started changing your tune. Postponing my plans, neglecting your duties, as it were. Phoenix is still out there, blocking me at every turn, because you've gone soft."

"You have plenty of men at your command," Castle challenged, "Plenty of soldiers at your beck and call that would be more than happy to eliminate her, so why is it up to me?"

"Because you wanted it that way!" Cross roared. "You begged me to hold them off, to give you more time so that you could kill her yourself. You're going to get what you want, Richard, but so am I. You'll have your freedom, but only after you've killed that meddling bitch."

"And what if I don't?" he asked, regretting the words as soon as he'd spoken them.

Cross' eyes bored into his, and white-hot pain seared through his body, bringing him to his knees. "Don't forget that I know where your mother lives," he said, his voice deadly calm. "How is Martha doing, Richard? It's been so long since I saw her last; perhaps I should pay her a visit. Or maybe it's time that I met your darling detective. Kate, was it? I'm certain we could find _something _to talk about."

Castle gritted his teeth against the crippling pain. "Stay away from my family," he managed. "This is between you and me." He closed his eyes. "I'll do whatever you want, just leave them out of this."

He fell to the floor as the pain subsided as quickly as it had flooded his system. "I'll hold you to that, Richard," Cross said, smiling benevolently. He held out a hand to help him up, which Castle ignored.

Castle struggled to his feet, only to have Cross turn his back on him. "It's come to my attention that your current case involves the Fist of Glory. See to it that its first disappearance and return cannot be traced back to us." There was a slight pause. "You're dismissed."

He wanted to kill his father, would have done so then and there if he thought he could get away with it. Instead, he gritted his teeth and replied, "Yes, sir."

(Kate)

She breathed in the night air, hoping to dispel some of the tension that she'd been carrying all week. It was no use. There was only one person that could drive away this feeling, and she was currently avoiding him.

It was this case, that _woman_; they were driving her insane. Serena Kaye had gotten under her skin, not that she would admit it to anyone. But every time she saw Castle hanging on Serena's words, or following her to places where cops weren't allowed, she felt the jealousy roil in her gut.

If she was being honest with herself, she'd really come out here tonight looking for a fight, not out of any sense of responsibility. Although, she really did need to start patrolling more often. It was technically part of her job, and the CCTV cameras that she had access to through her computer could only help so much.

She'd wanted a fight though, wanted to punch something (or someone) until the medicine ball in her gut went away. But the streets were deserted. It was as if every criminal in the city had decided to give her the night off, just when she least wanted it.

Two hours of nothing had her turning her bike towards the precinct, only stopping at home to change out of her crime fighting gear. The punching bag in the precinct gym was nowhere close to what she wanted to be hitting, but it would suffice.

Kate had barely been there for half an hour when she heard the door open and close behind her. She didn't have to look to know that it was Castle, so she let him sweat for a few minutes while she pummeled the bag.

Eventually, he stepped into her line of sight, holding the bag steady as she continued to whale on it. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I should have realized that my spending so much time with Serena would upset you."

"I'm not. Mad. At you," she got out, in between punches. She hit the bag one last time, then turned away and started to unwrap her hands. It was technically true. She wasn't mad at Castle. She was mad that another woman was trying to put the moves on Castle, and she was mad that she was letting it bother her as much as it was.

"You don't have to lie to me, love," he said, coming up behind her. He started to massage her shoulders, melting away her tension with every squeeze of his hands. "I can't do anything if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"Why are you with me when you could have someone like her?" she asked, tears brimming as her insecurities rushed to the surface. "You could have someone fun and uncomplicated and _whole_, but instead you're with _me_. This broken, pathetic mess…"

"_Stop."_ He spun her around, wrapped his arms around her, and crushed her to his chest. "Do you know how much it kills me to hear you talk about yourself like that?"

He got his hand under her chin, tilted her face up until she was looking him in the eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly Mr. Perfect. And I don't want 'fun and uncomplicated'," he said, wiping a stray tear away. "I want you."

"I know that," she murmured. "I promise you that I do. But something about Serena got to me, and once that seed got planted in my head, it wouldn't go away." Her fingers brushed across his cheek. "I promise it had nothing to do with me not trusting you."

He trapped her hand in his, pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "Good. I hope I never give you a reason not to trust me." He watched her for a few minutes, thinking something over. "What would you say to taking a few days off?" he asked. "To going away with me?"

Kate hesitated. "Depends on where you're taking me," she said. "And how long we'll be gone. I used up most of my days this summer."

"I was thinking that we could spend a couple of days at my place in the Hamptons," he said. "Maybe once this case gets wrapped up, so we can enjoy the beach before it gets too cold?"

She really shouldn't. Who knew what mayhem she might come back to if she left the city unattended for that long. But _god _a vacation sounded so appealing. "I can't promise anything," she told him, "but that sounds perfect."

* * *

_*No one expected Castle to get away from Cross that easily, right? And who knows what that guy's got up his sleeve. As far as Kate and her insecurities go…I mean, we all remember how bad she was in Cloudy with a Chance of Murder, right? I can only imagine that she would have been about twenty times worse if they'd gotten together in season 4._


End file.
